If You Aren't Reading Suri's Burn Book, Your Life Is Incomplete

I am not going to lie. I am a huge fan of Suri Cruise. I love that she is five-years-old and wears high heels and red lipstick like it is nobody's business. Yes, fine, maybe she is setting a bad example for little girls but I don't care. She also reads Vogue and drinks Starbucks regularly. I mean I don't even read Vogue. I carry it around and pretend I do but I get pretty bored reading any article that isn't about a celebrity. She spends more on dresses than I spend on my rent and I am pretty sure she is Katie Holmes' only friend. Plus, you can just see she is thinking these snobby thoughts about the other Hollywood kids. I mean this is child who made her debut in society on the cover of Vanity Fair. Sorry Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, but OK! Magazine just doesn't cut it. Someone else obviously knew that Suri was thinking these thoughts too and finally did something about. The Suri Cruise Burn Book is like The New Yorker of fictional celebrity children burn books.

I don't know who writes it but they are genius and I want to be their friend. I mean she already pointed out that Harper Beckham has "chunky arms." And I love that she constantly makes fun of the Affleck Garner girls' "mid-90’s Target chic look." Or with another picture of them, "IT HURTS ME. The faces are so pretty, but the clothes are so sad." And wait until you hear what she says about Shiloh. 

On Beyonce & Jay Z's baby:
" This baby is going to be fashion-forward, wealthy, and half-beautiful. I’m terrified. In situations like this, there’s only one thing you can do, and that is to pray it’s a boy."


On Papa Cruise:
My father is a helicopter parent, in that we own a helicopter, but he is under strict orders not to come too close without my permission and some advance notice. And you don’t even want to know what my nickname for Tom is. Okay fine. It’s Polly Pocket.


On Shiloh:

I understand the urge to act out when you have five siblings fighting for your mother’s attention, especially when it’s obvious she’d rather be focusing on ruining other people’s marriages and shopping for things that are black.

But do you have to run around an airport behaving like you’re on ecstasy?

If you start reading this blog, I swear to God your life will be better. 

In Burberry as a 2-year-old

Not pleased

At Hermes of course

J.Crew

In red lipstick and carrying a Vogue. Classic Suri.

That movie Tanner Hall looks intriguing

Have you heard of this film Tanner Hall? It is about a group of girls at an all-girls boarding school and you know, their meaningful experiences. As we know from films, girls that go to all-girls schools have the most  meaningful relationships and are usually the craziest. As someone who went to an all-girls school (but not a boarding school) I can say that is only half true. Teenage girls are pretty insane anyway but an all female institution doesn't bring down the crazy level at all. Though the girls in this film are definitely having more fun than I did with their British accents, their cute blazers and their 30-something sexy boyfriends (hello Tom Everett Scott. Loved you since That Thing You Do!), the closeness of the friends does ring a bell.

This is exactly what we did in gym class. Weird square dancing.

According to a review of the film from Paste Magazine, the plot is as follows:

Tanner Hall spins the tale of Fernanda’s (Rooney Mara) senior year at Tanner Hall, a picturesque boarding school in New England, where a painfully obnoxious yet charismatic childhood acquaintance, Victoria (Georgia King) enrolls. She brings with her enough tension to compromise Fernanda’s bond with her friends, Kate (Brie Larsen), a Lolita-esque siren clueless to the power of her sexuality, and Lucasta (Amy Ferguson), a tomboy questioning her desires.


 Tanner Hall is also interesting because Tatiana von Fürstenberg and Francesca Gregorini are the women who co-wrote, produced and directed the film. Hall is the daughter of onetime Bond girl Barbara Bach, who married Ringo Starr when Francesca was a teenager and Tatiana is, of course, the daughter of Diane von Furstenberg. Both women were raised speaking Italian, and each attended a boarding school in England. According to the LATimes, the women met when they were students at Brown.  "The movie's main characters embody both Gregorini's struggle with her sexuality and Von Furstenberg's flirtatiousness, among other characteristics. In the film, the girls rely upon and form rivalries with one another as they discover their sexuality."

 plot

 In case you haven't heard Rooney Mara is about to become the next big thing. After her great role in The Social Network (she was one of the three girls with lines) she won the coveted role of Lisbeth Sander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the trailer for the film looks insane.) Plus she is gorgeous and she is from the most ridiculous family ever. Her grandfather on her mother's side is Art Rooney, the founder of the Pittsburgh Steelers and her father's father was the founder of the Giants, Tim Mara. Seriously?

I am so excited for Up All Night!

Have you seen the promos for the new NBC comedy Up All Night? The show looks amazing for a multitude of reasons:

1) Will Arnett is in it: I have loved Will since his Arrested Development days. I was obsessed with everyone on AD but Will was one of my favorites (though he will never be Michael Bluth, my true love.) He often stole the show as Gob and I even liked his show on Fox with Keri Russell (stick with Felicity sweetheart) that was doomed from the start. Plus, he is married to Amy Poehler. Don't that they just seem like the most fun couple?

2) Maya Rudolph is in it: Maya Rudolph may be one of the funniest women on the planet. Her character is supposed to be loosely based on Oprah (the Oprah) so that is totally awesome. P.S. how good was Bridesmaids? I would literally just watch Maya Rudolph sit in an empty room making weird noises.

3) Christina Applegate is in it: I actually used to dislike Christina Applegate. I hated Married with Children and thought she was annoying. But I really liked Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead but that is mostly because the plot was great and Josh Charles was in it (I mean he was in Dead Poet's Society and is on The Good Wife.) And then I hated that show she did called Jessie where she played a single mom. It was just dumb. But then Christina took on the lead in the Broadway musical Sweet Charity. I didn't see it but the reviews were good and it appeared that Christina actually had talent.

The girl can really dance and sing! And then she started doing all these projects I really liked like Anchorman and The Sweetest Thing (actually those were both really dumb. The Sweetest Thing makes no sense at all. Her guest spot on Friends was probably her best move.) And then Christina did a show called Samantha Who? and though only about 5 people besides me in America watched it, I loved it. I would have watched it for Christina Applegate's hair alone. I thought it was so cute and charming. I mean she made retrograde amnesia look like so much fun! Plus, it had Barry Watson (formerly of 7th Heaven) who I have always secretly loved even though his career is kinda sucky now. Anyway, Christina proved she is talented and I enjoy her and am glad she got another show.

Christina in Sweet Charity

Christina on Samantha Who?

4) Chritina Applegate and Will Arnett play parents: It is going to be hilarious!! Just watch the promo if you don't believe me.

Ali MacGraw is a fashion icon

During this big week of fashion, I can't help but think of some of my favorite fashion icons. One of my favorites, who I think often goes unnoticed, is Ali MacGraw. She was the "it" girl in the 70's. If you haven't seen a film called Love Story then you are stupid. You also probably haven't cried as much as me but also stupid, because it is great. It is one of the first boy meets girl, boy marries girl, girl dies of tragic disease and wears make-up in her hospital bed. Love Story was just a great story (sorry for the lack of a better word) and it didn't need any vampires or special affects or computer geniuses (that was a weird reference to The Social Network because Love Story is also about Harvard students.) The film made stars out of Ryan O'Neal and Ali, a relatively unknown model at the time, and earned them both Oscar nominations. 

Ryan and Ali in Love Story

Ali, a Choate And Wellesley girl, was working as a photographic assistant at Harper's Bazaar for former editor Diana Vreeland and then went on to Vogue before someone finally figured out that she should be put in front of the camera. Her natural beauty and great style made her a fashion icon, plus the fact that she went on to marry the ridiculously cool Steve McQueen didn't hurt. Let's take a look at some of her best looks.

70's a go-go!

Her outfits in Love Story were to die for. Love this camel coat.

I am obsessed with this red dress from Love Story.

Oh so 70's

Gorgeous

Ths is actually what Ali wore to the Oscars in 1971. You could wear crocheted hats back then and get away with it.

Big necklace alert!

Ali more recently

The battle of the preppy bags: Are you a Longchamp or a JPK girl?

I don't know when I got obsessed with bags. Was it just one day suddenly or was it a gradual process? I remember in 6th grade I had this awesome tiny backpack (remember that fad? Like why were they so tiny? Did we think it made us look smaller?) that was shiny and purple from The GAP and it was pretty awesome. But I remember not being that into it in high school. I totally missed the Kate Spade train that everyone else was on and then I got in on the tail end of the whole little black Prada bag (meaning I bought a fake one on the street in New York). Now that I think about it, I believe it was when I was in my freshmen year of college, home for winter break that my mom decided to get me a little Coach purse. It was pretty cute and I just remember being really obsessed with it even though all it could hold was my Nokia phone (that I literally had no idea how to use. What a difference a year made), my ID and one lip gloss. And then the obsession really started to grow. Bags are just great because they change a whole outfit, mostly for the better.  I was very into LeSportsac bags for a bit because a lot of the older girls in my sorority had them and if anything I was a sheep. The flare jeans (before skinnies were all the rage), Puma sneakers, a hoodie and cute tee and a LeSportsac bag was my look and it all revolved around that bag. Junior year my roommate had this green bag that I was absolutely obsessed with and would steal from her all the time (plus I had these great green pointy heels that matched it). 

But it was really not until the end of college that I became obsessed with Longchamp bags. There are four bags that preppy girls carry: a big Longchamp bag (for school books and computers, perhaps gym stuff when you get older. You can also get the smaller ones but only after you get a big reliable one to get you through the day),. I am not sure if I love all the new things they are putting on the bags (what's up with those weird metals?) but whatever. The second bag is the  L.L. Bean boat bag this is for the more rugged preppy girl. It says yes I spend my summers in Nantucket but I also like to go camping. And then there is the Vera Bradley bag (probably a gift from your grandmother) screams I needlepoint in my spare time and have a friend named Kate. When you see a Vera Bradley game don't you just feel like taking a nap? And lately the JPK bag has become another preppy staple. It has a simple design like the Longchamp but comes in great vibrant color. I got mine in a rich purple. I don't even like purple but that is how good this color was. I may even like the JPKs better because they have a little bit of extra hardware going on which gives me an edge.