The Girl Who Couldn't Wear Make-up and other tales: "The Hills" Is Like The Original "Girls" But Without Any of the Cultural Relevancy

Happy Independence Day everyone! I have one of those awkward summer colds that I'm pretty sure I gave myself just from sleeping in freezing AC and then going into disgusting 100 degree heat. Ahh, the joys of living in New York City. Plus who decided to put July 4th on a Wednesday? It just made everything ridiculous and pointless. So I decided to just write it off as a sick day since I felt pretty icky anyway.

One thing that made me feel pretty good though was when I woke up (my puppy even let me sleep until 9am. He only likes to get up early on Saturday and Sundays because my life is just awesome like that) I discovered that there was a Hills marathon on! It was like Uncle Sam decided to reach out and give me a little pat on my shoulder. Yes, I may actually own Season 1 and Season 2 of The Hills on DVD and I believe the entire series is available on Netflix (which I may or may not have watched recently while hungover.) But there is something special when a marathon just appears on television.

And yes, it is sad when they call a show like The Hills "retro MTV." It makes me feel like I am 50. Same as when I watch Friends on Nick at Nite. But it really is retro television because this was a reality show on MTV where no one was pregnant and everyone was over 21. No one lived in a trailer.

But does anyone else remember how big The Hills got? Like President Obama spoke about the fight between LC and Heidi. This was a fixture of pop culture. Remember that club scene when Lauren confronts Heidi? "You know what you did!" It was like straight out of a Scorcese scene except with way less blood and more pretty dresses. And after all, this was the show that introduced the world to the enigma that is Justin Bobby. Enough said.

And now the big question. Why do I love The Hills so much? Well The Hills was on right around the time that I started my grownup life and on some level we were going through the same things except that instead of having an awesome pad in LA, working at a fashion magazine, having a ridiculous wardrobe and being followed by cameras constantly I lived with four boys, made no money, worked at Fox News and may have worn fake Uggs at that point still. So just a few differences. But there was something appealing about Lauren Conrad and her idiot friends. Even though there was a ton of drama it just was so relaxing to watch them deal with their non-problems. It was kinda like the predecessor to Girls except everyone was attractive and Lena Dunham's Hannah would in no way be friends with Lauren though I think it would have been hilarious if she just showed up in an episode wearing a flannel and tights.

I had also liked Laguna Beach for the same exact reasons though I do blame that show for every picture of me in college in capri jeans, a bright top and fake Chanel sunglasses. It was fun to watch Lauren and her adventures with her other cute blond friend named Lauren and then all those less-interesting brunettes they hung out with.

I mean you have to love Lauren Conrad. She is like a modern-day Gidget and she pretty much brought back headbands before Blair Waldorf and never gets the credit. I also like that she left the series when it started to get ridiculous and has legitimately made a career for herself.

Her style tips are good and she has a good head on her shoulders. I may or may not own her book of style tips and one of her novels. We watched Lauren grow up. We were there for all the tears, all the laughs (that she chose to share on camera during the 6 months of filming per year) and all those stares that looked like they meant something because of editing. When she rolled her eyes, we did too. We did too LC.

As for the others I won't even go into Heidi and Spencer because they are gross. Except it is so sad to watch the early seasons when Heidi was normal. Audrina was so blah and Whitney seemed smart but was clearly not captivating enough to pull of her own series. Kristin Cavallari is an idiot but has great style.

My favorite episode may have been the one where everyone screwed over Lauren and then there was almost a fashion crisis at Teen Vogue but then there wasn't and everyone stared. This amazing MAD TV parody pretty much captures the essence of the show. Except it's not letting me embed that video so this one is good too but definitely watch the first one: