Sunday, August 4, 2013

Princesses: Long Island May Be the Best Show of our Time

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...on Long Island. Bravo's Princesses: Long Island is single (jewelry adorned from daddy) handedly saving my summer. As I pack up my apartment to make a crosstown/downtown move Princesses: Long Island is the one constant in my life. My maxi dress, head band, Christian Loubitin heeled constant. But seriously this show combines the wonderful ridiculousness of The Real Housewives of New Jersey with the sisterhood of the traveling pants (except if these girls were every asked to share pants they would probably die. I don't think I've even seen half of them wear pants.)

Bravo is great at taking industries with creative people and then exposing all the shallow, horrible parts about them except with Princesses they didn't have to destroy the reputation of worthwhile careers! This show is not about what these women do (as far as I can tell Casey and Joey are the only ones who actually works. Erica apparently works for her father though she doesn't have to go in if she is tired or is getting her nails done that day). But what makes these women appealing is that they are not trying to pretend they are anything they are not. No one seems to feel bad about not working. They barely feel bad about living at home. Plus, I love that they rock maxi dresses, heels and headbands (the alternative name for the show could have been headbands) around their forehead like for lounging or going to CVS.

Tonight is the season finale and I cannot wait. Ashley may or may not have gone off to die in the Vineyard like a dog while the rest of the girls went out to sea. Will Ashley live? Will Joey be homeless soon? Will Amanda ever learn to breathe through her nose and marry creepier version of Kramer from Seinfeld? Will Chanel ever find love and/or flat shoes? Will Casey ever get a storyline that involves her in the show (she doesn't even live on Long Island!) Will Erica ever actually like her boyfriend/fiance?
Here are a few other reasons why I adore this show.

1) Erica is trying to relive her glory years
Erica, once known as the hottest girl on Long Island, doesn't really need anything else to make her happier. She had that title and she is good for life. And she is just so matter of fact about it. "I'm a pretty girl, boys will text me." Boom. Simple as that. Plus, I love that she has like this weird tick/twitch. And if she wants to have four bottles of Pinot Grigio, let's not give her a hard time.

2) Chanel's wardrobe
I love Chanel. She is just so funny and her wardrobe is to die for. Who says you can't wear a maxi dress and a forehead band to a pool party or to cook something in your kitchen? And when her younger sister was getting married it was pretty painful to see how depressed she was (plus her mother literally called her an old maid several times) but we also saw her triumph and be brave.

3) The Drink Hanky
I don't even think Amanda is a real person. She just makes sounds and came up with the most brilliant invention ever: The Drink Hanky. Because why would you want someone to have to look at your disgusting drink while your drinking it? The world is just a better place when we cover it in Burberry.

4) Ashley
The girl is insane balls but she is entertaining. My favorite was when she asked how Orthodox Jews got their curls so perfect. Oh and she is a dirty fighter. Yes, Joey makes a few too many penis jokes but you don't have to go so low. You never make a comment about someone's mother during a fight! That was cold. She was like Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. If Maleficent was 4'11" and was a Daddy's girl.

5) The decor of everyone's homes
Could there be any more leopard? Why does everyone live in Zack Morris's old house?

5) When Casey said she would punch Erica
In the face! That was just amazing. At that point we knew class was thrown out the window.

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