Though people say you are not an official New Yorker until you live here for 10 years you will find that get used to seeing a number of things that people most other places in the world would be freaked out by. Some examples include dog shit everywhere, homeless people outside your apartment building, dogs in stores like J.Crew (but if you think about it, J.Crew is a rather logical place for a black lab to hang out at) and blood on the sidewalk (I literally walked by a red stain on the sidewalk the other day and thought to myself "There is like 70% chance that is blood" and yet I wasn't disturbed. I was happier to walk closer to that then the dog poo near it. For all I know they could have been filming an episode of Law & Order: Creepy, Weird Sex Crimes Unit) and movie and TV shows being filmed as well as celebrities. I tell you if I had a penny for everytime I saw a person on Gossip Girl, I would have like 10 pennies which in the grand scheme of things isn't a lot but it is more than a person in South Dakota I bet. We also sometimes are lucky enough to see a crazy person on our subway cart that we can't not watch talk to the voices in his head. Today, however I was that freak on the subway.
Last weekend I spent some time in nature and decided to catch the plague as a result. I have been coughing like it is my job. I'm like Beth from Little Women but in shorts (By the way, how good is the version of that book with Winona Ryder? Except when Claire Danes cries. She has ruined so many movies with her crying. I watched for the first time in a while on a bus on my way to Boston and started sobbing loudly. That is also a good way to get more room on public transportation).
So I get on the subway thinking I would be better off since I wasn't out breathing in the gross New York air. But oh no. I decided to have a coughing attack on the train and people were literally moving away from me. I'm telling you if you ever want to get leg room on a crowded train just start coughing. A bad cough can get you a lot of space in a crowded city like this. I moved from my seat to stand near the doors were there less people but I needed to hang on to something but I had already coughed on both my hands and this lady was looking at me like I was the anti-Christ. I decided I would just try to balance with no bar support which is a risk for me cause my balance sucks. Somewhere around the age of 15, I don't know why, but I started turning corners less sharply. After being a fairly coordinated kid it just like went away. Anyway, I digress but this is a blog so that is okay.